When I rescued Max, he had a multitude of problems. Apart from being severely underweight, he was also terrified of blonde women, hated loud noises, didn’t think he could eat unless you hand fed him and would shake like a tiny shed door in the wind when anything outside of his normal routine happened.
It was so bad in fact, that I ended up hiring a Dog Behavioural Therapist to come out and help him.
But when the guy arrived, he said something interesting.
‘They’re not HIS problems. They’re YOURS’
Basically, the chap said that I wasn’t being the ‘leader of the pack’. I wasn’t stepping up enough. I wasn’t being dominant enough. I wasn’t making Max feel safe enough – and that’s why he was still freaking out about his bad start.
So I spent the day learning how to be the leader.
Enforcing the word ‘NO’, instead of cuddling his problems away.
Letting him walk past bigger dogs – and not picking him up every time they looked at him like he was dinner.
Warning passers-by that ‘he doesn’t like attention – please don’t touch him’, rather than apologising for him barking at them hysterically.
And it started to work.
Five years later, Max is nowhere near ‘fixed’.
But he’s happy. He’s relaxed. We can even take him to friends houses and he doesn’t freak out.
How often is it that you look at what YOU are doing for YOUR tribe?
I’ve had a lot of people tell me that ‘XYZ person is copying your stuff’
Or that ‘my audience just doesn’t want to invest in themselves’
Or ‘my clients aren’t committed to the results’.
And I get it.
There are ALWAYS going to be SOME people who won’t.
But they’re the minority.
And I want you, when these thoughts come into your head, to start thinking instead;
‘Are they MY problem? Or are they THEIR problems?’
In other words, are YOU leading them any differently?
Are you enforcing the word ‘NO’ and setting boundaries around what you’ll do for free and what they need to pay for?
Are you rewarding bad behaviour? ‘Oh you didn’t invest in yourself but you want a free pick my brain session – sure!’
Are you rescuing them from every coach/ course/ investment that you had to make… just so that they don’t have to feel uncomfortable about their level of commitment?
People will treat you how you LET them treat you.
Not how you WANT them to.
Unless you step up and LEAD.
Let me know what you think in the comments!